Driving in Vermont

Week before last we received a long-overdue visit from our director. Manny is from Montreal and he and my hubby were chatting about the abominable state of the roads in Vermont and Quebec which he says are worse. Almost without guile, Garth said: "Sister Gunter is going to forget how to drive. She hasn't driven since we left Washington." You noticed I said almost without guile because I haven't driven very much for years! I don't like driving and if I can find a chauffeur, my life is good. Besides that, I don't drive when the ultimate backseat driver is with me. And I wouldn't drive in Vermont--the driving and drivers are crazy.
Number one. Making a left hand turn is hazardous to your car and health. Every morning we have to turn left onto a very busy, narrow, pot-holed street. However, the Vermonters are nothing if not courteous. At risk to the long line of traffic, they often slam on their brakes and stop courteously and wait so you can make the turn. Elder Gunter takes the opportunity whenever he can to do the same. I try not to notice the cars behind stopping just short of dominoing everybody else. He has also perfected the two finger salute which signals your thanks to the polite driver. As you make the left turn onto Main Street, you have to swing wide around the gigantic pothole that marks the entrance to Wilson Street which is more like an alley than a street.
Number two. Vermonters don't merge! They ignore any traffic and forge ahead. There's no politeness here and you get another kind of salute if you get in their way. We've had several close calls until we learned the principle of merging in Vermont. Stay as far from the merge lane as you can. This habit of theirs is especially bad when they're going to work or coming home from work. They also don't like anyone to pass them.
Number three. The fauna. We haven't seen much in the road, but we see the warning signs. Moose crossing, bear crossing, deer crossing, duck crossing etc. Apparently squirrels have been a problem for many, many years, but we've maybe seen five squirrels. This has puzzled us because of the millions of trees. Apparently, something has reduced the squirrel population to practically nothing.
Number four. Pedestrians. By Vermont state law, pedestrians who are in a crosswalk have the right of way. You must stop for them. Even when we went to the top of the mountain to see the Von Trapp family lodge, there was the familiar yellow sign right in the middle of the cross walk warning drivers to stop. Knowing they have that privilege, pedestrians force the issue. Again--the domino effect as drivers are trying to get stopped.
And, finally, the local police force. Brother Walton, a member of our ward and the former Police Commissioner of the state of Vermont, explained to us something we've heard about before. Vermont has hundreds of little towns--platted seven to eight miles apart and each has a town cop or two. These guys have an injunction and receive bonuses for giving out speeding tickets especially at the end of the month. Brother Walton says the sheriff's deputies can do the same. No tickets yet.
That's why I don't drive in Vermont. We've been blessed to have the Old Biddy. I've never had a sense of direction and Garth has been really turned around here. This is Vermont